{"id":882,"date":"2025-01-22T22:00:10","date_gmt":"2025-01-22T22:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/survivors.org\/?p=882"},"modified":"2025-04-17T10:53:50","modified_gmt":"2025-04-17T17:53:50","slug":"what-is-negging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/survivors.org\/what-is-negging\/","title":{"rendered":"What Is Negging?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Negging is a form of emotional manipulation in which someone repeatedly puts someone down to undermine their confidence and make them more vulnerable. It can come from anyone such as an intimate partner, a family member, a boss, or a friend. Oftentimes, these put downs are in the form of back-handed compliments, but they can be any direct or indirect comment that begins to chip away at one\u2019s self-worth. Negging often happens over time, making it difficult to detect or differentiate between negging and the occasional slip-up. It can be considered a form of gaslighting because it causes someone to question their interpretation of reality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Negging Tactics<\/h3>\n\n\n<style>.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd .kt-accordion-inner-wrap{column-gap:var(--global-kb-gap-md, 2rem);row-gap:8px;}.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd .kt-accordion-panel-inner{padding-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-right:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-bottom:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);padding-left:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);}.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd > .kt-accordion-inner-wrap > .wp-block-kadence-pane > .kt-accordion-header-wrap > .kt-blocks-accordion-header{background:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);color:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);padding-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-xxs, 0.5rem);padding-right:var(--global-kb-spacing-xs, 1rem);padding-bottom:var(--global-kb-spacing-xxs, 0.5rem);padding-left:var(--global-kb-spacing-xs, 1rem);}.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd:not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-basiccircle ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-xclosecircle ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-arrowcircle )  > .kt-accordion-inner-wrap > .wp-block-kadence-pane > .kt-accordion-header-wrap .kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger:after, .kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd:not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-basiccircle ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-xclosecircle ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-arrowcircle )  > .kt-accordion-inner-wrap > .wp-block-kadence-pane > .kt-accordion-header-wrap .kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger:before{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);}.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd:not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-basic ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-xclose ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-arrow ) .kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);}.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd:not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-basic ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-xclose ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-arrow ) .kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger:after, .kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd:not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-basic ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-xclose ):not( .kt-accodion-icon-style-arrow ) .kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger:before{background:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);}@media all and (max-width: 767px){.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd .kt-accordion-inner-wrap{display:block;}.kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd .kt-accordion-inner-wrap .kt-accordion-pane:not(:first-child){margin-top:8px;}}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-accordion alignnone\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-wrap kt-accordion-id882_a621fc-bd kt-accordion-has-11-panes kt-active-pane-0 kt-accordion-block kt-pane-header-alignment-left kt-accodion-icon-style-basic kt-accodion-icon-side-right\" style=\"max-width:none\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-inner-wrap\" data-allow-multiple-open=\"false\" data-start-open=\"0\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-1 kt-pane882_8b120a-71\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Back-handed Compliments<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They may give you back-handed compliments. A back-handed compliment is an insult disguised as a compliment, particularly highlighting the other person\u2019s insecurities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example:<\/strong> &#8220;<em>That is a bold make-up look, I wish I had your confidence to look like that in public.<\/em>&#8220;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-2 kt-pane882_677595-cc\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Comparing to Others<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They may compare and contrast you to other people, whether or not those judgements are accurate. Sometimes these comparisons may be made overtime to incite a feeling of competitiveness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example:<\/strong> <em>\u201cGreat job at practice today, maybe someday you\u2019ll be as good as Masha.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-3 kt-pane882_96e8f4-b4\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Excessive Teasing<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They may insult you in a playful way, known as teasing. In some relationship dynamics, affectionate teasing is something that people are comfortable with, but it can become negative when people begin using teasing to mask what they truly want to say or to manipulate the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong><em>\u201cWell, let\u2019s just say Jamie isn\u2019t in the running for valedictorian this year.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-4 kt-pane882_df8acc-03\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Sarcasm<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They may use sarcasm to mask or excuse their insults.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong><em>\u201cYeah you\u2019re definitely super-mom\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-5 kt-pane882_393468-3b\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Undermining Accomplishments<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They show little interest in your accomplishments or successes or they flat out insult them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong><em>\u201cI\u2019m surprised anyone is actually watching these videos you\u2019re making.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-6 kt-pane882_e99ed5-b9\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">One-upping<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They constantly share good news or accomplishments after you\u2019ve just done the same. Any conversation where you try to share something about yourself somehow leads back to them and their <em>far superior<\/em> story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong>You tell them you\u2019re under the weather and they tell you about the time they were extremely sick and had to go to the ER.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-7 kt-pane882_3e9cde-8c\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Insults Disguised as Questions<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They may carefully word their insults as questions to avoid pushback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong>\u201cAre you really going to wear that?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-8 kt-pane882_f32768-99\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">The &#8220;Exception&#8221;<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They may try to make you feel as though they are the only person who would put up with you or love you \u201cdespite your flaws.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong>\u201cYou\u2019re lucky I\u2019m patient.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-9 kt-pane882_0c4596-a1\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Use the Guise of \u201cConstructive Criticism\u201d<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They always tell you that they\u2019re just giving \u201cconstructive criticism,\u201d therefore, you should accept it or you\u2019re being unreceptive. Anyone who is actually giving constructive criticism will listen if they are told it comes across as rude. Additionally, constantly receiving criticism, even if it is well-intentioned, can cause someone to feel the need to please the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong>\u201cI am not trying to be rude, I just think you can improve.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-10 kt-pane882_619365-c9\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Make You Feel Sorry<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They make you feel sorry when you tell them how you feel about some of their comments. They may bring up things you have said in the past or deny that they\u2019re being disparaging all together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">*An indicator that you\u2019re experiencing negging rather than a miscommunication or a one-off rude comment is how the person responds when you say something about the behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong>\u201cI can\u2019t believe you would tell me that what I said was rude.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-pane kt-accordion-pane kt-accordion-pane-11 kt-pane882_f2b4f2-22\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-header-wrap\"><button class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-header kt-acccordion-button-label-show\" type=\"button\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title-wrap\"><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-title\">Always &#8220;Just Joking&#8221;<\/span><\/span><span class=\"kt-blocks-accordion-icon-trigger\"><\/span><\/button><\/div><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel kt-accordion-panel-hidden\"><div class=\"kt-accordion-panel-inner\">\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They\u2019re always just joking around. It\u2019s always <em>you, not<\/em> <em>them<\/em>. They may tell you you\u2019re being too sensitive and you need to learn to take a joke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Example: <\/strong>\u201cYou\u2019re so uptight sometimes, you need to learn how to take a joke once in a while.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Responding To Negging<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Speak up<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you feel safe to do so, let the person know you do not appreciate being spoken to in that way. Try your best to stay calm and not return any insults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Set boundaries<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Set boundaries with the person doing the negging outlining how you will tolerate being spoken to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Analyze the relationship<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">All relationships have unhealthy moments, but repeated negging is a form of emotional abuse. You may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship if:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Your partner often treats you with disrespect.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Your partner often isn\u2019t truthful or reliable.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You\u2019re often changing your behavior to please them.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You feel like you\u2019re \u201cnever enough\u201d for your partner.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You are overly dependent on your partner or vice versa.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Your partner shows little to no remorse when they make you feel bad.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Reach out for support<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you feel as though you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, you can find the support you need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Negging is a form of emotional manipulation in which someone repeatedly puts someone down to undermine their confidence and make them more vulnerable. It can come from anyone such as an intimate partner, a family member, a boss, or a friend. Oftentimes, these put downs are in the form of back-handed compliments, but they can&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":19,"featured_media":885,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_price":"","_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_header":"","_tribe_default_ticket_provider":"","_tribe_ticket_capacity":"0","_ticket_start_date":"","_ticket_end_date":"","_tribe_ticket_show_description":"","_tribe_ticket_show_not_going":false,"_tribe_ticket_use_global_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_global_stock_level":"","_global_stock_mode":"","_global_stock_cap":"","_tribe_rsvp_for_event":"","_tribe_ticket_going_count":"","_tribe_ticket_not_going_count":"","_tribe_tickets_list":"[]","_tribe_ticket_has_attendee_info_fields":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[34],"tags":[93],"audience":[74],"resource-type":[69],"class_list":["post-882","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-domestic-violence","tag-relationship-violence","audience-survivors","resource-type-articles"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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