Abuse is the act of causing harm or distress, in an attempt to exert control, especially for one\u2019s own advantage or pleasure. Emotional abuse is when someone engages in behavior intended to cause another person mental and emotional harm in order to exert control. It can happen in any kind of relationship, including but not limited to intimate partnerships, friendships, coworkers, roommates, and family members<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Emotional abuse often overlaps with other forms of abuse, particularly verbal abuse, and is often present in relationships with any kind of abuse. Research suggests that 60% of women and 25% of men who experienced intimate-partner violence report emotional abuse.1<\/sup> Recent data also showed that 55% of teenagers reported experiencing some kind of emotional abuse from a parent or another adult in the home.2<\/sup> Due to the nature of emotional abuse, it can often be difficult for victim-survivors to determine whether or not they are being abused. They may believe that they are overly-sensitive or that their perception is skewed, and may dismiss the idea that they are being abused. As a result, it is likely that the prevalence of emotional abuse is underreported.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are many ways someone can emotionally abuse someone else. The examples given here are not a complete list and are intended to give an idea of the different ways emotional abuse can present itself in a relationship. Perpetrators may also do a number of other things not listed here to emotionally harm someone else. If a scenario involving emotional harm is not listed here, it does not mean it is invalid as a form of abuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Manipulation is when someone uses unfair or dishonest tactics to control someone else in order to get what they want. Many other emotional abuse tactics are also forms of manipulation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Perpetrators may make victim-survivors feel like they are the issue in the relationship or that they \u201cowe\u201d them in some way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n To invalidate someone is to make them feel like their perception of a situation is inaccurate and\/or their emotional response to a situation is irrational. Invalidation can lead to feelings of shame, self-doubt, self-blame, and can lead victim-survivors to question their perception of reality. When someone becomes uncertain whether or not their interpretation of reality is accurate, it becomes harder to recognize and accept that certain behaviors are abusive. They may begin to see the perpetrator as rational and themselves as irrational. Invalidation chips away at someone\u2019s self-esteem, making it easier for the perpetrator to exert control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Perpetrators of emotional abuse may try to exert control by making the victim-survivor feel as though they are inferior. This tactic lowers a victim-survivor\u2019s self esteem by convincing them that the perpetrator is more intelligent, deserving, and capable than they are. As a result, they begin to distrust their own capabilities, making it easier for the perpetrator to exert control. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional neglect is when someone fails to provide, or deliberately withholds, emotional support. This tactic can lead victim-survivors to suppress or internalize emotions. They may feel alone, isolated, and unimportant. Emotional neglect sends the message that the victim-survivor\u2019s emotions are unimportant. It can leave those who are experiencing unrelated mental health issues or life struggles without support. The internalization of emotional neglect in one relationship can make it difficult to seek support outside of the relationship, putting victim-survivors in a vulnerable position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Insults are when someone makes a negative remark with the intention of offending someone or upsetting them. These remarks may target things such as someone\u2019s personality, actions, body, passions, skills, or\/and beliefs. Often personal weaknesses or emotional vulnerabilities are used against the victim-survivor. Insults are a way to degrade a victim-survivor to believe that they are who the perpetrator says they are. The perpetrator may also intend to make the survivor change parts of who they are in order to stop the insults. Ultimately, the goal of the perpetrator is to position themselves above the victim-survivor in order to control them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Insults may be stated in a joking manner or tone, but this is often done to avoid accountability for their abuse by stating that it was, \u201cjust a joke.\u201d While playful teasing is a dynamic that exists in many relationships, the difference lies in what the insults are, how frequently they occur, and how individuals respond when someone tells them that the teasing actually hurt their feelings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Another way perpetrators emotionally abuse victim-survivors is by intimidating them. Intimidation can be either direct or indirect. Sometimes, perpetrators directly threaten negative outcomes, or they may imply or insinuate them. Perpetrators use intimidation to control what a survivor does by making them fearful to do anything that may displease them<\/p>\n\n\n\n Exaggerated and misplaced distrust can also be a form of emotional abuse. When a perpetrator consistently doesn\u2019t trust or believe the victim-survivor, they manipulate the victim-survivor into acting in ways to prove their honesty. Or, the victim-survivor may alter their behaviors and decisions due to the lack of trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Emotional abuse can also look like creating chaotic, highly emotional situations to put the other person into a vulnerable emotional state. They may incite drama between themselves and the victim-survivor, or involve another person in the conflict. By creating chaos, the perpetrator has control over the situation and can use that chaos to control others.<\/p>\n\n\n\nManipulation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Manipulation can look like:<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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Invalidation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Invalidation can look like:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Superiority<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Superiority can look like:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Emotional Neglect<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Emotional neglect can look like:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Insults<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Insults can look like:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Intimidation<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Intimidation can look like:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Distrust<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Distrust can look like:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Chaos<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Creating chaos can look like:<\/h4>\n\n\n\n