There are many ways someone can financially and economically abuse someone else. The examples given here are intended to just give an idea of the different ways financial and economic abuse can present itself in a relationship. Perpetrators may also do a number of other things not listed here to control their partner’s ability to make, spend, and manage their own finances. In other words, if a situation related to financial power and control isn’t mentioned here, it doesn’t imply that it isn’t a valid form of abuse.

Many perpetrators manipulate and/or coerce their partners into giving them control. For example, they might frame the control as a positive or a task they are taking on in the relationship by saying things such as, “I know you worry about money, so why don’t I handle it for you so you don’t have to worry about it anymore?” Additionally, they could demand, intimidate, or threaten their partner into letting them control their finances. Financial abuse can manifest in various ways depending on the circumstances, and it frequently occurs alongside other types of domestic violence. Perpetrators often use the same tactics to control their partner’s finances. 

Sources

1. Postmus JL, Plummer SB, McMahon S, Murshid NS, Kim MS. Understanding economic abuse in the lives of survivors. J Interpers Violence. 2012 Feb;27(3):411-30. doi: 10.1177/0886260511421669. Epub 2011 Oct 10. PMID: 21987509.
2. Adams, Adrienne E. “Measuring the Effects of Domestic Violence on Women’s Financial Well-being.” CFS Research Brief 2011-5.6.
3. Mary Kay. (2012). “Truth About Abuse Survey Report.” The Nation
4. Salamone, Nancy. (September 2010). “Domestic Violence and Financial Dependency.” Forbes
5. Kitten, T. (2021). Child Identity Fraud: A Web of Deception and Loss. Javelin Strategy.

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

National Sexual Assault Hotline

RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

Phone: 800-656-4673
Chat: Click here to chat

Website

VictimConnect Resource Center

VictimConnect is a referral helpline where ALL crime victims can learn about their rights and options confidentially and compassionately. 

Phone and text: 855-4-VICTIM
Online chat: Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm EST

Website

The post Financial Abuse appeared first on Survivors.org.

Grounding exercises are simple techniques that people can use anywhere to help them get through a difficult moment. They can help people navigate through difficult emotions by bringing their mind off of the distressing thought and into the present moment, allowing them to calm down and recenter, making those intense emotions less overwhelming. When people are grounded, their emotions are not the primary force driving their decisions, which makes those decisions less impulsive. Even if someone’s emotional response to a situation is valid, those emotions may drive them to make decisions they later regret, which can potentially harm themselves or others. Grounding exercises are also useful for those who are experiencing a dissociative state or a flashback by bringing them back into the present.

One of the most common and accessible grounding techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise. In this exercise, people engage their five senses to observe the world around them, promoting mindfulness and reconnecting them to the present moment. It can help distract people from a distressing thought, while staying connected to their body and surroundings.

To begin, take a few paced, deep breaths. Observe your environment by going through each of your senses. It may be helpful if you say each thing you observe out loud, but it’s okay if you are unable to do so. Work your your way through your senses by counting down from five and list:

5 Things You Can See

• List out any five objects or beings in your space.
• Pay attention to their size, shape, color, and texture.
• You can even choose a type of object to look for. This would require even more attention to your surroundings. Maybe you identify five blue things in your environment, or five things in your bedroom that bring you joy.

4 Things You Can Touch

• List out any four objects in your space that you can touch.
• Pay attention to their physical characteristics, such as texture, temperature, and weight.
• If possible, seek out things in your environment that may stimulate a variety of physical sensations.

3 Things You Can Hear

• List out any three things you can hear.
• Pay attention to the volume of the sound and where it may be coming from.
• These can be as simple as the hum of your air conditioner or even the sound of your breath. 
• You can also stimulate this sense by playing music or tapping your fingers on a surface.

2 Things You Can Smell

• List out any two things you can smell.
• Pay attention to the different notes associated with these scents and where they may be coming from.
• You can seek out scents by directly smelling things in your environment, such as a candle or a cup of tea.
• You can also just take deep breaths in through your nose and describe what you smell.

1 Thing You Can Taste

• List out one thing you can taste.
• Pay attention to the different notes associated with these tastes. Is it bitter? Sweet? Salty?
• You can seek out tastes by having a mint or a slice of fruit.
• You can also just try to identify what tastes are already in your mouth, such as the minty taste left in your mouth after brushing your teeth, or the aftertaste lingering in your mouth from your coffee.

You can repeat this exercise as many times as needed. It can be done anywhere and modified to fit your needs and current environment. Maybe you can’t list four things you feel, but you can list five things you can hear. The numbers matter less than engaging your senses and paying attention to what those stimuli in your environment are telling you. You can also prepare to utilize this exercise by carrying a pack of mints, a textured rock, or earbuds. 

It can be difficult to access these skills when activated or dissociated. Grounding is a practice that you will get better at over time the more you engage in it. If this exercise doesn’t work for you, there are other ways to ground yourself that may work better for you.

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

National Sexual Assault Hotline

RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

Phone: 800-656-4673
Chat: Click here to chat

Website

VictimConnect Resource Center

VictimConnect is a referral helpline where ALL crime victims can learn about their rights and options confidentially and compassionately. 

Phone and text: 855-4-VICTIM
Online chat: Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm EST

Website

The post Grounding Using The Five Senses appeared first on Survivors.org.

While statistics show that many people experience dissociation at some point in their lives, those who have experienced trauma dissociate at higher rates than those who have not. Research has found that sometime during a traumatic event or in the days, weeks, or months following the event, approximately three out of four people experience dissociation.¹

What are the signs and symptoms of dissociation?

The symptoms of dissociation can be grouped into two general categories, depersonalization and derealization.

• Depersonalization: the feeling that you are detached from your body and yourself
• Derealization: the feeling that the world around you is not real

The experience of dissociation has been described as:

• you are not in control of yourself
• inability to access or describe your emotions
• emotional numbness
• altered sense of time and space
• tingling sensations in skin
• trouble concentrating
• feeling like you aren’t yourself
• feeling like life is passing by like a movie
• physical sensations without cause
• feeling like you are watching yourself from outside of your body
• changes in vision
• gaps in memory

Why do people dissociate?

Experts believe that dissociation is our brain’s response to highly distressing events, experiences, and information. When people dissociate, there is distance created between themselves and the trauma, which makes the distressing event more tolerable.² People may dissociate during a traumatic event, known as peri-dissociation, or they may experience dissociation when they are reminded of the traumatic event. Sometimes, people may enter a dissociative state for no discernible reason. Those who experience chronic dissociation may meet the criteria for a dissociative disorder.

Dissociation makes trauma more tolerable for two general reasons. Firstly, dissociation causes one to be detached from their memories, thoughts, and feelings. Detachment is an altered state of consciousness characterized by feelings of alienation. As a result, feelings and emotions can be flattened. A survivor may recognize that an event was a trauma, but they may not experience the emotions they would expect to accompany trauma. Via detachment, dissociation can make it easier for trauma survivors to go about their everyday lives. However, dissociation is a maladaptive coping mechanism that delays a survivor’s ability to process the traumatic event and truly heal. Secondly, dissociation often involves some level of compartmentalization. To compartmentalize means to “section off” parts of one’s memory, making usually accessible information difficult or impossible to recall and utilize. This can also delay a survivor’s ability to process the trauma.

Dissociative Disorders

Dissociative disorders are a type of disorder in the DSM-5 involving chronic dissociation. It’s important to remember that dissociation is a mental process and a symptom of other mental health conditions, as well as a type of mental health condition itself. Not everyone who experiences dissociation meets the criteria for a dissociative disorder.

The three types of dissociative disorders can be summarized as followed:

• Dissociative Amnesia: forgetting personal information and memories of events
• Dissociative Identity Disorder: experiencing two or more persistent personality states
• Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder: disconnecting from self and surroundings

Treatment For Dissociation

While no therapy or medication is specifically designed to treat dissociation directly, therapy practices such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT),and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) have been effective in reducing dissociation. Therapies that center around reprocessing traumatic events and reintegrating them into our sense of self, coping with the traumatic event, and gaining control over dissociative symptoms help to manage dissociative disorders and dissociation in general. Early intervention when one begins to notice dissociative symptoms after a traumatic event can prevent the development of post-traumatic stress disorder.³

Sources

1. Hunter, E. C., Sierra, M., & David, A. S. (2004). The epidemiology of depersonalisation and derealisation. A systematic review. Social psychiatry and psychiatric epidemiology, 39(1), 9–18. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00127-004-0701-4
2. Lynn, S. J., Maxwell, R., Merckelbach, H., Lilienfeld, S. O., van Heugten-van der Kloet, D., & Miskovic, V. (2019). Dissociation and its disorders: Competing models, future directions, and a way forward. Clinical psychology review, 73, 101755.
3. Nöthling, J., Lammers, K., Martin, L., & Seedat, S. (2015). Traumatic dissociation as a predictor of posttraumatic stress disorder in South African female rape survivors. Medicine, 94(16), e744. https://doi.org/10.1097/MD.0000000000000744

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

National Sexual Assault Hotline

RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

Phone: 800-656-4673
Chat: Click here to chat

Website

VictimConnect Resource Center

VictimConnect is a referral helpline where ALL crime victims can learn about their rights and options confidentially and compassionately. 

Phone and text: 855-4-VICTIM
Online chat: Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm EST

Website

The post What is Dissociation? appeared first on Survivors.org.

Realistic Goals

Sometimes, survivors set unrealistic goals for themselves and their healing process. Survivors may determine that they “should feel better by now” if the trauma happened a long time ago, and as a result, they may feel inadequate when they cannot achieve those goals. They also may think that there is a stark divide between being unhealed and healed, which makes it hard to recognize progress. Unrealistic goals are difficult to achieve and can worsen a survivor’s self-esteem.

Many survivors benefit from redefining healing as a process and journey rather than a destination. All trauma survivors have days, weeks, or even months where they are more impacted by the trauma, and their self-esteem may take a hit when they feel like their progress has become “undone.” Healing is not linear and having hard times does not undo progress. If survivors can set small, realistic goal posts for their healing, they are more likely to achieve those goals. Smaller goals also provide more opportunities to recognize progress. 

Re-defining Sexual Assault and Sexual Violence

Many people do not get the sexual violence education they deserve, and may not know the definitions of sexual assault and sexual violence. This can cause them to believe that they played a role in what happened. Sexual assault can be briefly defined as, “any kind of non-consensual physical sexual act.” Sexual violence can be briefly defined as, “an umbrella term for any kind of non-consensual sexual contact, behavior, or aggression.” By definition, sexual assault and sexual violence have nothing to do with anything the survivor themselves did or had control over. When trying to repair self-esteem after sexual violence, survivors may benefit from repeating these definitions when they catch themselves victim-blaming themselves. 

Re-defining Justice

Survivor’s self-esteem can also be impacted because they feel as though the perpetrator “got away” with it. Seeking legal justice can be incredibly difficult, both in terms of the emotional impact it has on survivors as well as the likelihood that a report will result in a conviction. Injustice is a difficult emotion to cope with, so it may be helpful to reconsider what justice looks like. Justice may look like taking legal action, or it can look like becoming an activist, publicly speaking about your experiences, or even just trying to leave what happened in the past to rebuild a fulfilling life despite the trauma. 

Learn About Trauma

Survivors often criticize themselves for the ways they responded during or after an assault. When survivors learn about the neurobiology of trauma, which is how our brains and bodies respond to trauma, they are better able to understand themselves. Learning that the ways they have been impacted by trauma are normal and experienced by others, it is easier to acknowledge that they are not uniquely flawed.

Validation and Compassion

Sometimes, survivors judge themselves for how they feel or responded during and after the assault, telling themselves that they “shouldn’t” feel or act the way they do. To validate is to accept and understand an emotional response without judgment. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel or respond to trauma. It can be helpful to pay attention to self-talk and combat criticism with validation. Oftentimes people cannot control their initial thoughts and feelings, but they can control what follows them. Talking to oneself as though they are speaking to another survivor or a loved one can result in more compassionate self-talk.

Challenge your inner critic with questions such as:

• What is the evidence that proves this thought is the reality?
• What would you tell someone you cared about to do if they told you they were having the same thought?
• What might be a different explanation for the one you have in your head right now?

Seek Support

Survivors often feel alone in their experiences, which can cause them to feel as though there’s something uniquely flawed about themselves. Isolation can also make survivors believe that no one cares about what happened to them. Seeking support can help survivors learn that they aren’t alone and people do care about what happened. 

Support can come from:

• Friends
• Family
• Therapists
• Hotlines
• Support Groups
• Survivors.org Community Forums

These feelings can be amplified when survivors receive negative responses from others when they disclose their assault. Survivors are less likely to seek support when the initial response they received was negative. Although it’s difficult, survivors should continue to reach out for support from others until they get a positive response. People do care about what happened.

Challenge Other Victim-Blaming Fallacies

Some survivors hear the echoes of rape myths and victim-blaming in their negative self-talk. Survivors may hold themselves to the standard of “the perfect victim.” Learning more about these myths and why they aren’t based in reality can help dismiss them. These thoughts and feelings come from somewhere. When you catch yourself having these thoughts, try to determine where they came from. Oftentimes, they can be traced back to individuals or ideologies we do not trust or agree with. When you speak to yourself that way, try to imagine it coming from those sources, as it makes it easier to dismiss.

You deserve to feel content with yourself. Negative self-esteem can greatly affect one’s quality of life, and survivors deserve to have a good life after what they’ve experienced. There are ways to begin rebuilding your self-esteem after trauma.

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

National Sexual Assault Hotline

RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

Phone: 800-656-4673
Chat: Click here to chat

Website

VictimConnect Resource Center

VictimConnect is a referral helpline where ALL crime victims can learn about their rights and options confidentially and compassionately. 

Phone and text: 855-4-VICTIM
Online chat: Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm EST

Website

The post Rebuilding Self-Esteem After Sexual Assault appeared first on Survivors.org.

Many survivors struggle with their self-esteem after sexual assault.

Trauma changes the way people perceive the world.

A traumatic event can cause a major shift in the assumptive world. The assumptive world refers to an individual’s core beliefs about the world and their place in it, built throughout the course of their lives, which is strongly maintained and used as the foundation through which they navigate life. It provides a sense of safety, stability, and security. 

When the assumptive world shatters, people become disoriented and may feel like everything has shifted. This is known as the shattered assumptions theory. It suggests that there are three core beliefs that provide people with a sense of invulnerability, allowing them to navigate confidently throughout the world. These beliefs are, “the world is benevolent,” “the world is meaningful,” and “the self is worthy.” Someone’s sense of self-worth is often affected when something shatters their assumptive world.

Survivors often blame themselves.

Survivors are often left wondering why they specifically were sexually assaulted. Rather than attributing the blame where it belongs, to the perpetrator, survivors turn that blame inward. Survivors may believe that they are uniquely flawed or did something to deserve what happened. They may do this to try and rationalize why this happened, even though there is no justifiable reason.

Survivors often victim-blame themselves. They do this even if they don’t feel the same way about other survivors. They may foster regret over how they acted before, during, and after the assault, believing that the outcome would have been different had they acted differently. 

Often subconsciously, people blame themselves for trauma because it maintains an internal locus of control. Locus of control is the extent to which people believe they have control over the events that happen in their lives, being either internal or external. A degree of an internal locus of control is good. However, when it comes to trauma, it can sometimes mean that survivors believe they had the power to control what happened to them, even though they did not. Accepting that bad things happen to undeserving people can be difficult because it challenges people’s sense of safety and externalizes the locus of control.

Survivors often feel irreparably damaged.

After a sexual assault, survivors often report feeling:

• Damaged
• Dirty
• Loss of value
• Less than others
• As though other people know or “can tell”
• Unsure why others would care about them
• As though their only value is sexual in nature

These feelings can be amplified by the concepts of purity and virginity, which push a narrative that both consensual or non-consensual sexual acts, are immoral, have the ability to change us as individuals, and determine our worth. In reality, the only person who a sexual assault should reflect negatively on is the perpetrator, not the survivor.

All of the feelings survivors have after a traumatic event are valid, meaning that they aren’t wrong for having those feelings, but it doesn’t mean that their self-assessments are correct. A traumatic event such as sexual assault can completely disrupt the way a survivor sees themselves and the world, however, there are ways to heal self-esteem after sexual assault.

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

National Sexual Assault Hotline

RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

Phone: 800-656-4673
Chat: Click here to chat

Website

VictimConnect Resource Center

VictimConnect is a referral helpline where ALL crime victims can learn about their rights and options confidentially and compassionately. 

Phone and text: 855-4-VICTIM
Online chat: Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm EST

Website

The post How Does Sexual Violence Impact Self-Esteem? appeared first on Survivors.org.

What To Do

Remember That Survivors Are B.R.A.V.E.

PAVE/Survivors.org has created an acronym to help you remember some of the most important things to do when someone discloses, which is to keep in mind that survivors are B.R.A.V.E. You don’t have to follow the steps of B.R.A.V.E. in order, but they are important parts of a response that let the survivor know you’re there for them.

Listen Attentively

Being an attentive and active listener means to listen with the goal of understanding and absorbing the information given to you. Attentive and active listening helps two people reach a mutual understanding and makes sure that a survivor feels seen and understood. Ensuring that a survivor feels understood is incredibly important for survivors, who often feel as though no one understands them. A few tips to becoming a better listener include:

• Undivided Attention: Silence and put away your phone. Don’t engage with other things going on in the environment that may make the survivor feel as though you aren’t fully present in the conversation.
• Let Them Speak: Don’t interrupt or finish their sentences for them.
• Body Language: Non-verbal cues are incredibly important. These can include turning your body towards the survivor and making eye contact. Eye contact can be difficult for some individuals, particularly those on the autism spectrum, but at least facing the survivor and looking up in their direction demonstrates that you are listening to what they have to say.
• Listening To Understand, Not To Respond: It’s not uncommon for us to begin to formulate a response in our minds while someone else is sharing with us. However, this distracts us from what the other person is saying. If you catch yourself doing this, refocus your attention on the words they are saying. It’s okay if, after they share, you need a moment to formulate a response. Listening to understand rather than to respond will oftentimes ultimately result in a better response.
• Reflective Listening: “I hear you’re saying___”

Validate

To validate someone is to let them know that their feelings and responses are understandable and make sense. Validation is a powerful way to make a survivor feel seen. Some ways to validate someone include phrases such as:

• “I understand why you would feel that way.”
• “That reaction makes sense.”
• “I think most people would respond that way in your position, I know I would.”
• “I understand how hard it must have been to share that, thank you for trusting me.”
• “I agree, that behavior was not okay.”
• “It makes sense that___.”

Keep The Focus

This is their time. They are sharing something very vulnerable and personal and they deserve to be the center of attention during the conversation. Talk about yourself as little as possible. However, sometimes survivors may feel as thought their response to what happened is invalid or they may feel alone in their experiences. If you can relate, it can be validating to share a short anecdote to let them know they’re not alone, but always bring the focus back to them and their story. Don’t take this as an opportunity to shift the conversation towards yourself and your struggles.

What Not To Do

Tell Them What They “Should” Have Done

Don’t tell them what they should have done or what they did wrong. There is no right or wrong way to respond during or after a sexual assault. Ultimately, nothing anyone does can truly prevent whether or not they get sexually assaulted. Telling someone that they were sexually assaulted as a result of something they did or didn’t is victim-blaming.

Pressure To Report

There are many reasons why a survivor may choose to not report, and they don’t need to justify this decision to anyone. Reporting can be retraumatizing for many reasons. Pressuring someone to report or reporting on their behalf can take away the survivor’s control can be retraumatizing as well, as they didn’t have control during the assault. Reporting may not be part of the survivor’s healing journey, and that’s okay. It is not the survivor’s responsibility to stop the abuser from harming someone else.

Pressure To Forgive

Everyone defines forgiveness differently. Even if you want the survivor to forgive for their own sake, encouraging them to forgive the perpetrator may feel like you’re sweeping what happened under the rug.

Minimize

Sometimes, in a well-intentioned effort to make someone feel better about something, people use phrases such as, “at least ___” or by comparing it to other experiences. Downplaying what happened will just make the survivor feel as though you are not taking what happened to them seriously. This can cause them to feel misunderstood or as though they are overreacting.

Ask To Justify

Don’t ask the survivor why they reacted a certain way before, during, or after a sexual assault. Nothing anyone does justifies or leads to getting sexually assaulted, and people have little to no control how they will respond in a moment where their safety is at risk. Asking someone to justify why they feel a certain way can make them feel invalidated and further isolated.

Ask Questions

Asking questions can feel invasive, and the survivor may feel pressured to respond and share things they aren’t yet ready to discuss with anyone. Don’t ask who the perpetrator was, what they were wearing, whether or not they were drinking, or for details about what happened during the assault. Trust that the survivor is telling you everything that they want to share with you, and allow them to share more details as time goes on if they choose to do so. Some questions can also feel judgmental and come across as victim-blaming.

React Strongly

It makes sense that it is hard to hear that someone you love has survived a sexual assault. However, if you demonstrate large emotions during the disclosure, your feelings become the center of the conversation and may make the survivor regret sharing the information with you because they feel guilty for upsetting you with this information. Try your best to remain calm and collected during the conversation.

Threaten

It’s understandable to be angry at the perpetrator for hurting someone you care about. Not only does harming them not solve anything, but doing so just adds another layer of distress for the survivor. 

Defend The Perpetrator

According to the National Crime Victimization Survey 2010-2016 by the Department of Justice, 8/10 sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone the survivor knows, which means it’s possible the perpetrator is also someone you know, which can be incredibly difficult. People show different sides of themselves to different people, and just because they never harmed you doesn’t mean they are not capable of harming someone else. The survivor is disclosing to you because you are someone close to them that they trust, and you should believe that they are telling the truth about what this person did. Defending the perpetrator, or claiming they would “never do that” is essentially the same as telling them you don’t believe them.

Try To Fix

Oftentimes when someone is sharing their problems and feelings with you, they are just looking for support, comfort, and validation. There often isn’t a way to fix the survivor’s problems, and trying to do so will just cause stress for everyone involved.

Give Unsolicited Advice

If the survivor isn’t asking for advice, don’t tell them what you think they should do. Unsolicited advice can come across as judgemental and the survivor may feel pressured to do what you suggest. You can ask them if they’d like advice or if they just want you to listen and be there for them.

Share

Unless the survivor directly tells you to, do not share what they disclosed to you with anyone else. If they gave you permission to tell someone, only tell those that the survivor said it’s okay to share with and only share the information you were told it’s okay to share. Sharing something so personal that the survivor trusted you to keep private is yet another betrayal for the survivor.

Being on the receiving end of a disclosure of sexual assault can be a difficult experience. These conversations have the potential to be emotionally activating, whether you have a past history of sexual violence or not. By caring for the mental health of both survivors and ourselves, we can create a more empowering and uplifting environment for all.

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

National Sexual Assault Hotline

RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline in partnership with more than 1,000 local sexual assault service providers across the country.

Phone: 800-656-4673
Chat: Click here to chat

Website

VictimConnect Resource Center

VictimConnect is a referral helpline where ALL crime victims can learn about their rights and options confidentially and compassionately. 

Phone and text: 855-4-VICTIM
Online chat: Monday-Friday from 9am to 5pm EST

Website

The post How To Respond To Disclosures of Sexual Assault appeared first on Survivors.org.

Learn About Trauma and PTSD

Educating yourself about trauma’s impact on your loved one and their mental health can help you better understand what they’re going through. The effects of trauma can manifest in many ways, ranging from difficulties with emotional regulation to physical manifestations of stress. By educating yourself on trauma and PTSD, it will be easier to understand and accept that the symptoms your loved one is struggling with are common and normal reactions to trauma. These are not a reflection of your loved one’s mental strength and no one can control what post-traumatic symptoms they will develop and need support for.

Be Mindful of Hypervigilance

When you learn about PTSD, one symptom you will read about is hypervigilance, which is when someone’s startle response is heightened and they are more likely to enter a state of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This can mean that your loved one may not respond well to pranks, loud noises, and/or surprises. Keep this in mind as you navigate through the relationship and try your best to not catch them off guard.

Understand Activators

Activators, also known as triggers, are stimuli that remind someone of a traumatic event. Activators can be any kind of stimuli, such as visuals, objects, sounds, words, physical sensations, and even environmental factors such as weather conditions. Try your best to notice what activates your loved one and remember activators that have been communicated to you. If you inadvertently activate your loved one, remember that their emotional response is to the trauma that they’re being reminded of, and it isn’t personal.

Sometimes, what is or isn’t an activator may not make logical sense to you. Activators aren’t something to be reasoned with, they just are. Don’t invalidate your loved one by reacting to activators as though they are being dramatic or nonsensical, as this will likely just exacerbate their distress. Don’t pry and ask your loved one why something activates a trauma response within them, as they may not be ready to share this information or they may not even know themselves. 

Prepare For Flashbacks

Flashbacks are when someone reexperiences a traumatic event in response to an activator to the extent that they feel as though the event is happening again and in real time. Every person is different when it comes to what will help them during a flashback, so the best thing you can do is have a conversation with your loved one about what they need when this happens. However, some general ways to help them are by:

• Orienting them in the present by reminding them of where they are, what time it is, who they are with, and who they are.
• Asking before you touch them.
• Getting them to a safe and comfortable location, especially if the flashback happens in public.
• Try your best to remain calm.

Be a Good Listener

Trauma survivors want to be and feel heard by those around them. Some of the core tenets of being a good listener include:

• Listening to understand rather than listening to respond.
• Giving undivided attention.
• Managing reactions to things that may be difficult to hear.
• Refraining from giving advice unless they ask for it.
• Understanding that they may need to talk about the same thing multiple times.
• Avoiding toxic, blanket statements of positivity.

Validate Them

To validate someone means to acknowledge their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors as reasonable responses to whatever is happening. You can validate someone using phrases such as:

• “It makes sense you would feel that way.”
• “I totally understand where you are coming from.”
• “I understand how hard it must be for you to share this with me.”
• “I would probably feel the same way too.”
• “I agree that ___.”
• “I believe you.”

Reach Out

Another symptom of PTSD is isolation. People with PTSD isolate after trauma for many reasons, and it often doesn’t mean they don’t want to see you because of anything you’ve done. If you haven’t seen or heard from your loved one in a while, reach out, see how they are doing, and try to make a plan to see them. Isolation is not only a symptom of PTSD, but it can exacerbate other symptoms and be overall harmful to their healing process.

Support Treatment

Unless your loved one’s safety is actively at risk, it’s important to give them control over their healing process and what resources they utilize during treatment. It’s okay to suggest options, but the decision should ultimately be up to your loved one. Forcing someone into treatment can be retraumatizing, especially because trauma survivors often feel as though the traumatic event took away their ability to control their life. Be supportive of their treatment plans and help them look for resources if they ask.

Take Care of Yourself

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Your emotional well-being is also important, so make sure you’re getting the support you need in order to show up for your loved one during their time of need. Consider getting therapy for yourself, as watching someone you love struggle and being part of their support system can be difficult. Set aside time for yourself and create your own self-care rituals. Set boundaries with your loved one, and remember that setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care about them or want to show up for them. Setting boundaries will be beneficial to both you and your loved one.

Supporting someone along their healing journey can be difficult, stressful, and emotionally taxing. You aren’t a bad person if you feel overwhelmed by what your loved one is going through or if you need support of your own. As long as you lead with empathy and respect for yourself and your loved one throughout the process, you are doing the best you can.Your efforts towards providing support to someone during their time of need is commendable. 

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

Crisis Text Line

We provide free, 24/7, confidential text-based mental health support and crisis intervention in both English and Spanish for anyone in the United States and Puerto Rico.

Text: “HOME” or “HOLA” to 741741

Website

7 Cups

7 Cups is an on-demand emotional health service and online therapy provider. Anyone who wants to talk about whatever is on their mind can quickly reach out to a trained, compassionate listener through our network. We have hundreds of listeners who come from all walks of life and have diverse experiences.

Chat: Click here to chat

Website

The post How To Support Someone With PTSD appeared first on Survivors.org.

What Do Advocates Do?

Sexual assault advocates’ specific duties vary by location, but most provide emotional support, a lending ear, access to resources, and serve as an echo to a survivors’ needs. Advocates do not make decisions for survivors. They inform survivors of possible options and advocate on their behalf to others, such as S.A.N.E.s, police, loved ones, medical providers, and more.

In addition, advocates who work on college campuses may advocate to professors, coaches, and Title IX offices. Many advocates are first responders in communities, but their duties are not limited to the acute phase after an assault. They may help the survivor navigate different difficult systems, such as getting a therapist, pressing charges, or applying for crime victim’s compensation. Advocates are also trained on survivors rights and are able to inform you on your rights. They can serve as a liaison during requests for accommodations at work or school. Advocates provide most forms of support after sexual assault and ensure that the survivors they work with get the resources they need.

Who is a Sexual Assault Advocate?

Advocate is a loaded word that means many things, and the title “sexual assault advocate” has been frequently misattributed, making it harder for organizations like PAVE to inform survivors of this resource. Someone who advocates for survivors of sexual assault is a person who wants to do what they can to support survivors and their healing. Their aim is to spread the word about sexual violence and the harm it causes, and how we can prevent further abuse. Advocates for survivors of abuse are amazing and they can be anyone. Everyone should be someone who advocates for survivors.

Not everyone can, or wants to be, a sexual assault advocate in the formal sense. It is a difficult job or volunteer experience that requires education, experience, formal training, and an investment in working with individual survivors. Advocates are members of sexual assault teams in their community to help individual survivors after a sexual assault has occurred. To become a sexual assault advocate, you are required to do at least 40 hours of training. These trainings vary from area to area and there is no standardized training course for advocates across the nation.

Finding an Advocate

If you are in need of an advocate in the immediate aftermath of an assault, there are a few things you can do. If you are reporting the assault to police, which you do not have to do, ask them about an advocate. You are entitled to one in many places, 24/7. If you are in a hospital or seeking medical services via an ambulance, ask them. The best way to know about your local survivor services, though, is to reach out to your local rape crisis center. PAVE has a list of them on Survivors.org. If you cannot find your local rape crisis center, check out your state’s coalition for sexual assault. The names vary per state, but you can find a list here.

The post What is a Sexual Assault Advocate? appeared first on Survivors.org.

Where does the bias come from?

The adultification bias against minority children is inextricably linked to other racial prejudices and remnants of racial trauma.

Slavery

Adultification bias has its roots in slavery. Age was only a factor for slave owners when considering how much the child was physically capable of doing, and there was little distinction between adults and children. As a result, they were seen as undeserving of play and received punishment for behaving in child-like ways. During slave trade, black children were often separated from their families, meaning that they were put in a position where they did have to grow up fast in order to navigate through life.¹

Innocence

While children are often presumed to be innocent, minority children are often not treated as such. A racist bias towards minority groups is the belief that they present higher risks to others’ safety or are more prone to criminal activities, a misconception that also extends to children. This racist stereotype has ties to slavery. In order to justify slave labor, black people were portrayed as aggressors, uncivilized, and animalistic. 

One study revealed that when primary and secondary school black girls externalized their emotions, they were perceived as being threatening.² The assumption that minority children are more malicious than white children influences how the adults around them respond to their emotional distress and what the outcome is, such as harsher punishments or even escalating to physical altercations. As a result, minority children are often encouraged by their parents to behave more maturely in order to avoid being stereotyped.

Hypersexualization

To hypersexualize is to portray something in an overly sexual way, particularly when one makes something sexual when it is not. Research shows that white people tend to focus on the sexual body parts of black women more than those of white women, thus, they face more objectification.³ The hypersexualization of black people can also be tied back to slavery. Slave owners portrayed black people as though they had a stronger desire for sex than white people as a way to justify sexually assaulting enslaved black women.

Considering that black people are disproportionately hypersexualized, black girls begin to be treated this way from a young age. They are assumed to start having sex earlier on in their lives than their white peers.³

Expected Strength

Strength, overcoming adversity, and resilience are all important values in many minority groups. Many minorities feel the need to always “be strong” in order to navigate a racist society, making it so that expressions of emotions are seen as a threat towards the ability to overcome adversity. Parents may invalidate their child’s emotions or teach them to keep their feelings inside because they fear what might happen if their child isn’t “strong enough” due to generational and racial trauma. Expecting a child to manage their emotions as an adult does can cause them to internalize their feelings and makes it harder to get help when they need it.

Socialized Adultification

Socialized adultification differs from prejudice-based adultification. It refers to when a child is put in a position where they take on adult-like roles or responsibilities in order to meet the needs of their family. However, this type of adultification still disproportionately impacts minority children. This can often happen in low-income families who cannot afford daycare or other resources that would take these burdens away from their children. As a result, not only are the children perceived to be more mature than their age, but they feel older as well because of their responsibilities.³

What Is The Impact?

Higher Standards Leads to Low Self-Esteem

Adultification holds children to the standards of an adult. When a child is held to a higher standard than should be reasonably expected from them, their self-esteem may suffer as a result, as they aren’t able to meet these expectations.

Harsher Punishments

Research shows that black girls and boys face harsher punishments for the same minor school infractions, such as using their cell phones when they are not permitted to, when compared to their white peers.⁴ Black girls are 2.7 times more likely to be referred to juvenile justice than white girls.⁵ These harsh punishments can shape a child’s sense of self and how they develop, potentially resulting in negative developmental outcomes. Black boys are criminalized from a young age, which can put them in the system before they’ve gotten a chance to fully develop.

Exposure to Precarious Knowledge

When treated as an adult, children may be exposed to knowledge typically associated with older people. They may not have the tools to properly process this information.

Peerification

Adults around them treat them as though they are one of them. When they see adults as their peers, someone who intends to groom them can more easily integrate themselves into their life without suspicion. They also may be exposed to drugs or alcohol at a young age.

Parentification

Children are parentified when given responsibilities that are not age-appropriate. They may be put into a position where they have to provide their siblings with emotional support and help them meet their basic needs. Parents may believe that because they took care of their siblings, that there is nothing wrong in making their children do the same, perpetuating a cycle of abuse.

Lack of Support

Research shows that as a result of adultification, black girls are seen as more independent and in less need of comfort and support³. Black girls may ultimately try to conform to these perceptions and struggle to get their needs met, which makes it hard for them to reach out when they do need support.

Internalizing Emotions

When children are raised to believe that outward displays of emotion are bad, they keep their emotions to themselves. Not only does it make it hard for them to get help when they need it, but it also can cause their mental health to suffer even more. Internalized emotions can lead to substance misuse, which can have dire physical consequences.

Loss of Childhood

When children are treated as an adult, the adults in their lives do not value the importance of play and wonder that define childhood. They may make the child feel as though their interests or desire to play are immature, despite being age-appropriate.

Children deserve to be children. Childhood is a very delicate period in one’s life where they are developing their sense of self and of the world around them. The messages children receive and the ways in which they are treated can have life-long impacts. It’s important to recognize that these biases exist, consciously or unconsciously, so that they can be corrected.

Sources:

1. Martinez, N. (2023, March 7). What you should know about adultification bias. America’s Black Holocaust Museum. https://www.abhmuseum.org/what-you-should-know-about-adultification-bias/ 
2. Cooper, A. (2023). The Impact of Adultification Bias on the Mental Healthcare Provided to Black Girls in U.S. Schools: A Novel Qualitative Analysis. 
3. Blake, J, & Epstein, R. (2019). Listening to Black Women and Girls: Lived Experiences of Adultification Bias. Georgetown Law Center on Poverty & Inequality.
4. Morris, E. W., & Perry, B. L. (2017). Girls Behaving Badly? Race, Gender, and Subjective Evaluation in the Discipline of African American Girls. Sociology of Education, 90(2), 127-148. https://doi.org/10.1177/0038040717694876
5. Puzzanchera, C, & Hockenberry, S. (2014) National Disproportionate Minority Contact Databook. Office of Juvenile Justice & Delinquency Prevention, U.S. Department of Justice.

Support Is Available

Ujima

Ujima The National Center on Violence Against Women in the Black Community, addresses the pervasive issues of sexual assault, and domestic and community violence within the Black Community. We champion the empowerment and resilience of Black women and girls.

Website

Black Emotional and Mental Health Collective

Our mission is to remove the barriers that Black people experience getting access to or staying connected with emotional health care and healing through education, training, advocacy, and the creative arts.

Website

Black Mental Health Alliance

The Black Mental Health Alliance focuses on improving mental health services for Black individuals, families, and communities by providing resources, education, and support to address mental health disparities. They work to enhance access to culturally competent care and empower Black communities to take control of their mental well-being.

Website

The post What is Adultification? appeared first on Survivors.org.

An ESA is different from a service animal, and both require different certifications. A service animal is an animal, typically a dog, that has been extensively trained to provide support to and guide disabled people through their daily tasks. ESA are any kind of animal and they provide emotional and mental support. Learn more about the certification process of ESA here.

How ESA Support Survivors

Survivors of sexual assault and/or abuse are at a higher risk of developing depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), substance use disorders, eating disorders, anxiety, and other mental health issues.¹ However, ESA can provide a silver lining for those who are struggling.²

Many studies have shown that support animals and pets can be powerful tools for survivors and those experiencing mental unwellness. ESA have the ability to help both the survivors’ psychological and physiological health.²

Mental Encouragement

ESA have been shown to help with:

• Lowering anxiety^2,3
• Trauma support^2,3
• Alleviating loneliness^2,3
• Enhancing social engagement and interaction^3,4
• Normalizing heart rate and blood pressure
• Reducing pain and stress³
• Increasing pleasure^3,4 
• Reducing depression²

Negative Affect

Studies have shown that animals, specifically dogs, cause humans to produce more dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for happiness. Having an animal companion can boost your mood and encourage you to do things, such as going for a walk, that we may not do if we are going through a bout of depression. Research also shows that cuddling with a dog or cat releases oxytocin, a hormone also associated with causing feelings of happiness.⁴

Social Interaction

Having an animal companion or an ESA means that you will always have a friend around. Animals also can increase our social interactions with other people, such as talking to another dog owner at the dog park or joining an online community dedicated to posting about your cat. People love to bond with other people over animals!³

Anxiety and Trauma

Animals can sense things that people can’t and can be our own alarm system. There’s a reason people have guard dogs, a dog often will bark when someone approaches your home or enters your property. For survivors, having this alarm system can make them feel so much safer. Additionally, our pets are more in tune with our emotions than we realize, and may cuddle up with us when they sense we’re sad.³

It’s important to remember that these animals are not just pets- they are essential support systems for survivors.

Sources:

1. Oram S. (2019). Sexual violence and mental health. Epidemiology and psychiatric sciences, 28(6), 592–593. https://doi.org/10.1017/S2045796019000106
2. Pedretti, G., Wirobski, G., Range, F., & Marshall-Pescini, S. (2021). Artificially elevated oxytocin concentrations in pet dogs are associated with higher proximity-maintenance and gazing towards the owners. Physiology & Behavior, 237, 113451. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2021.113451
3. Brooks, H. L., Rushton, K., Lovell, K., Bee, P., Walker, L., Grant, L., & Rogers, A. (2018). The power of support from companion animals for people living with mental health problems: a systematic review and narrative synthesis of the evidence. BMC psychiatry, 18(1), 31. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1613-2
4. Hoy-Gerlach, J., Vincent, A., Scheuermann, B., & Ojha, M. (2022). Exploring Benefits of Emotional Support Animals (ESAs): A Longitudinal Pilot Study with Adults with Serious Mental Illness (SMI). Human-Animal Interaction Bulletin, 2022. https://doi.org/10.1079/hai.2022.0016

Support Is Available

988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

988 Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.

Phone: 988

Chat: Click here to chat

Text: Send any message to 988

Website

Crisis Text Line

We provide free, 24/7, confidential text-based mental health support and crisis intervention in both English and Spanish for anyone in the United States and Puerto Rico.

Text: “HOME” or “HOLA” to 741741

Website

7 Cups

7 Cups is an on-demand emotional health service and online therapy provider. Anyone who wants to talk about whatever is on their mind can quickly reach out to a trained, compassionate listener through our network. We have hundreds of listeners who come from all walks of life and have diverse experiences.

Chat: Click here to chat

Website

The post How Do Emotional Support Animals Help survivors? appeared first on Survivors.org.

Many different activities and choices are acts of self-care. Self-care can range from the essential things we do on a daily basis to care for ourselves, such as taking medications, exercising, and eating well, to things we do in isolation that may not be seen as essential to survival, such as a spa day or setting aside time for hobbies.

Research shows that sustainable self-care activities promote positive family environments.¹ Self-care can also help people do their jobs more effectively, which benefits both the individual and those around them. For example, research shows that mental health professionals who engage in self-care are able to provide better support to their clients because they are actively preventing and addressing burnout.²  

However, there are some misconceptions about self-care that can serve as a barrier for some people. It’s important to address these myths and emphasize the facts about self-care.

Self-care is not selfish

Some people struggle engaging in self-care because they feel guilty that it requires them to center themselves. This can especially be true for parents and caretakers, as these individuals often put the needs of others above their own. In reality, self-care allows one to ensure that they can continuously show up for those who rely on them.

For example, when traveling by plane, in-flight safety instructions tell passengers that they should put their oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else. People cannot assist others who need help putting their oxygen mask on if they lose consciousness due to oxygen deprivation. The same concept applies to self-care. People cannot help others who rely on them if they can no longer function due to a lack of self-care. 

Self-care is not indulgent

Similarly, people may refrain from self-care because of the way it has been presented to them in the media. Self-care is often a term used flippantly in reference to grand, isolated acts centered on the consumption of goods. Surveys have shown that Americans have a skewed perception of self-care, with activities such as at-home spa activities, visiting a spa, getting a manicure or pedicure, and getting a haircut as the top self-care activities that come to mind.³ This can make those who struggle with self-care even more avoidant. They may view it as purely pleasure-seeking, something they may not be able to afford and perceive as a waste of time.

While these can be self-care to an extent, self-care doesn’t have to be indulgent, and it shouldn’t always be. Self-care is better described as a proactive routine rather than a single reactive action. Ideally, people should establish a self-care routine to maintain their well-being rather than engaging in sporadic, grandiose acts of self-care when they become burnt out. 

It isn’t bad for someone to get their nails done as a pick-me-up, but it should not be the only part of self-care that is emphasized. The most important parts of self-care are the continuous, daily steps to take care of oneself, such as showering, attending doctor’s appointments, and maintaining connections with loved ones. However, it’s also important to remember that happiness and pleasure are still human needs, and they are valuable. Sometimes, self-care is about experiencing pleasure, and joy is a valuable human need that supports an individual’s overall wellbeing.

Self-care is productive

In a fast-paced society, where oftentimes worth is determined by productivity, sidelining other obligations to focus on oneself seems unproductive. Productivity refers to the act of completing tasks efficiently and effectively in order to achieve goals. In reality, self-care is productive. 

By prioritizing self-care, people can avoid burnout and maintain their physical and mental health. Ensuring that they are well taken care of allows people to thrive in other aspects of their life. While productivity isn’t a true measure of someone’s worth, it is ultimately more productive for someone to take a step back from some responsibilities, recharge, and return with full energy, rather than put half of their energy into something for a prolonged period of time. 

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theorizes that human needs can be boiled down to five basic categories, placed on a hierarchy. It suggests that it can be difficult to fulfill some needs when others aren’t met. For example, if someone cannot meet their physiological needs, such as being sleep deprived, it is much more difficult to achieve self-actualization, which refers to becoming the best version of the person they strive to be, such as reaching their career goals. 

Similarly, preventative healthcare is the act of taking steps to prevent health conditions or catch issues early-on. Preventative care is emphasized because, ultimately, the time and energy invested into these acts is less than what would be required if someone did ignore their physical health and developed a health issue as a result. Self-care is the same. People are actually being productive by not depriving themselves of self-care time.

Self-care is about being mindful and balanced

Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of one’s needs, feelings, thoughts, and environment without judgement. Looking at a list of self-care ideas, some may seem to contradict one another, and sometimes that is the case. What qualifies as self-care varies from person to person, and it can look different under different circumstances for one individual.

For example, maintaining an overall healthy diet is an act of self-care. Yet, getting a sweet treat after a difficult day can also be an act of self-care because it brings joy. Financial planning is another aspect of self-care. Self-care can look like buying the cheaper version of a product in order to save money for bills. However, spending more to have groceries delivered when sick, rather than forcing oneself out of bed, can also be self-care.

Self-care is about mindfully tapping into one’s needs and taking steps to fulfill them in ways that are balanced. Needs change everyday and people do not always need to take the same steps to fulfill those needs. 

Self-care is a privilege

When we say that self-care is a privilege, we do not mean that it is something that only some people deserve. What we mean is that not everyone is able to engage in self-care due to life circumstances. It’s important to acknowledge that many acts of self-care are inaccessible to some people, even though they shouldn’t be. Socio-economic status may prevent people from fulfilling basic, human needs for survival, such as accessing medical care or buying groceries. Those who need to work multiple jobs or long shifts to make ends meet may not be able to set aside time for acts of self-care or establish and sustain daily self-maintenance routines. 

Or, someone may not be able to afford small pleasures and indulgences. A new lip-stick or a date-night, while not necessarily essential for basic survival, make life more enjoyable. It’s important to recognize that those who are struggling financially deserve to have things and experiences that are non-essential for basic survival because they bring them joy. Oftentimes, those with financial struggles, are criticized and blamed for their circumstances when they do spend any money on things that others deem non-essential. In reality, if getting a coffee from a coffee shop a handful of times a month is a joy that makes it possible for someone to get through a difficult time, it is a net positive. The twenty dollars spent a month on coffee is not why they cannot afford a $400 monthly insurance plan. Joy is a valuable human need that can make it easier to accomplish other goals.

Ultimately, self-care is an important part of being human, but it is especially important for those who are experiencing mental health issues, such as healing from trauma. It’s key that trauma survivors check-in with themselves periodically to ensure they are meeting their needs, and if they aren’t, taking action to meet those needs. Self-care is best practiced as proactive, not reactive. When beginning to implement self-care into one’s routine, it can be difficult to determine if and how they need to make changes, but there are often signs that someone is in need of self-care. It can be helpful to review the different types of self-care to get some ideas, or seeking the support of a mental health professional to establish a self-care routine.

Sources

1. Torres-Soto, N. Y., Corral-Verdugo, V., & Corral-Frías, N. S. (2022). The relationship between self-care, positive family environment, and human wellbeing. Wellbeing, Space and Society, 3, 100076. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.wss.2022.100076
2. Posluns, K., Gall, T.L. Dear Mental Health Practitioners, Take Care of Yourselves: a Literature Review on Self-Care. Int J Adv Counselling 42, 1–20 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10447-019-09382-w
3. Vagaro – Press Releases. (2021, January 14). Vagaro. https://www.vagaro.com/news/press-release/survey-finds-three-quarters-of-americans-believe-self-care-activities-provide-stress-relief

The post What Is Self-Care? appeared first on Survivors.org.

Historical Trans Leaders Fighting Against Sexual Violence

Marsha P. Johnson (1945-1992)

Marsha P. Johnson, is a prominent transgender activist, and co-founded the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR) with Sylvia Rivera. Johnson’s activism extended beyond LGBTQIA+ rights to include broader anti-violence initiatives. She was known for her advocacy for sex workers, many of whom identified as trans women facing threats of sexual violence and exploitation. Johnson’s work emphasized the need for community support and solidarity in combating sexual violence.

Sylvia Rivera (1951-2002)

Sylvia Rivera, a transgender woman, was a pivotal figure in the early LGBTQIA+ rights movement. Alongside leaders like Marsha P. Johnson, she co-founded the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance, and later the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries (STAR). Rivera fought against sexual violence, particularly focusing on the abuse and exploitation of homeless LGBTQIA+ youth. She advocated for safe housing and support services, recognizing the increased vulnerability of marginalized groups to sexual violence.

Current Trans Leaders Fighting Against Sexual Violence

Janet Mock

Janet Mock is a transgender author, director, and advocate. Through her writing and public speaking, Mock has highlights the intersections of race, gender, and sexual violence. Her memoir, “Redefining Realness,” discusses her experiences with sexual violence and exploitation as a young trans woman. Mock has used her platform to advocate for survivors of sexual violence and to call for systemic changes to protect marginalized communities.

Laverne Cox

Laverne Cox, an Emmy-nominated actress and transgender advocate, is a vocal supporter of anti-violence initiatives. She works with organizations like the Anti-Violence Project (AVP), which addresses violence against LGBTQIA+ individuals. Cox’s visibility and advocacy has brought attention to the issues of sexual violence within the transgender community, emphasizing the need for inclusive policies and support systems.

CeCe McDonald

CeCe McDonald is a transgender woman and activist who became a symbol of resistance against transphobia and sexual violence. After being attacked by a group of people, McDonald defended herself and was subsequently imprisoned. Her case sparked widespread activism and led to increased awareness about the violence faced by transgender individuals. Since her release, McDonald has continued to advocate for prison reform and the rights of transgender people, focusing on the need for protection from sexual violence both inside and outside of prison.

Trans Advocates in the Media 

The television show “Pose,” written and directed by Janet Mock, has played a significant role in highlighting the struggles and triumphs of transgender individuals in the late 1980s and early 1900s in New York City. The show is the first show to depict transgender characters who identify as trans in real life. Pose portrays trans characters facing various forms of discrimination and violence, including sexual violence. Mock ensures that the stories in the show are authentic, respectful, and culturally sensitive. Mock’s involvement in the show brings a level of credibility and depth to the portrayal of transgender characters, furthering her advocacy work against sexual violence.

The success of “Pose” has contributed to a broader cultural understanding of transgender issues and the importance of addressing violence against the transgender community. The show has ignited conversations about the need for inclusive protections and support systems for transgender individuals.

Advocacy and Impact

Transgender activists have made significant strides in the fight against sexual violence by:

Raising Awareness

By sharing personal experiences and amplifying voices of other survivors, trans activists have brought much-needed attention to the prevalence of sexual violence within the transgender community.

Advocating for Policy Changes

Trans activists have lobbied for legal protections and policies that address the unique vulnerabilities of transgender individuals. This includes advocating for inclusive definitions of sexual violence, ensuring access to gender-affirming healthcare, and pushing for reforms in the criminal justice system.

Creating Support Networks

Trans-led organizations and initiatives have established vital support networks for survivors of sexual violence. These networks provide resources, counseling, and safe spaces for healing and empowerment.

The post How Transgender People Have Led the Fight Against Sexual Assault appeared first on Survivors.org.